Month: March 2016

Friendship as Self-Care

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I have great friends, I really do, but I’m also an introvert. I’m social and enjoy going out but being doesn’t recharge me the way it does for extroverts. I revel in alone time and can’t seem to get enough.

 

When I’m going through a hard time all I want to do is stay at home on my couch and watch TV or sleep. My instincts tell me to stay in and ignore the phone calls, ignore all the invites to grab a coffee or go to an event. But really, just like exercise, it’s something that might help the most when you least want to do it. Being social and engaging with others is so very important.

 

One of the first things I ask when I’m counseling others is if they’ve talked to anyone else about their problems, if they have any friends or family members they’d feel comfortable talking to. I understand that you can’t necessarily talk to every friend about everything but hopefully there is someone in your life who will understand.

 

The other thing I recommend to people sometimes is even if you don’t feel like talking through all your problems; go out with your friends, talk about movies or actors you have crushes on or anything. Sometimes just being social and light and having the human connection can do a lot for you long term even when you don’t feel it short term. Now of course there is a balance and if you really don’t feel like going out sometimes it’s okay to stay in and stay to yourself. I just know for myself, sometimes it’s the nights I’ve fought the most against going out that I’ve ended up having the most fun.

 

For my birthday I went out to dinner with a couple of my friends. This has been a fairly typical celebration for the past few years and it brings me so much joy. It’s wonderful to be around people who know you and like to talk about interesting things.

 

Self-Care can sound self-centered and it normally makes us think of things we can do for ourselves, by ourselves but being social is a great tool for self-care. Laughing, making others laugh, it is a wonderful way to take care of yourself and heal when you need it.

 

How do you use your friendships to help with your self-care?

Weekly Check-In

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Traditional Volunteerism

  • 4 Hours of Crisis Text Line
  • I’m donating Blood today. Sticking to my new years resolution!

Charitable Giving

  • $2,000 to Water.org (and yes technically this isn’t money that came out of my pocket, it’s coming from my company, I still worked for it).

Personal Kindnesses

  • I spent about 3 hours in the car this week taking someone to the airport during rush hour. While traffic isn’t so fun, helping out a friend is. I know that I rely on my friends to do things that they don’t necessarily want to do and I’m glad that I can do things for them.

Self Care

  • Last Sunday was the First day of Spring and I decided to celebrate in a new way. I did 108 Sun Salutations as the sun rose on spring. It was an amazing experience.  A great way to welcome the spring and do some physical spring cleaning. It was also a great way to practice endurance and patience and focus, three really wonderful things to practice. I was sore for the next three days. Next year I’m going to train for it. I honestly didn’t think yoga would make me sore but 108 is a lot.

Please share in the comments how you’re doing this week!

Happy World Water Day!

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I have to take a moment to say that my heart goes out to Brussels. #JeSuisBruxelles

It’s disheartening that this is becoming a regular occurrence but I took some time today to think about how much fun visiting Belgium brought me when I lived in Europe. The waffles, the fries, the Atomium on the horizon. The man who gave me directions in french without bothering to take his cigarette out of his mouth. It is a wonderful place.

Screen Shot 2016-03-22 at 7.21.19 PM.png

 Holr Magazine

Today is World Water Day

I’m excited to announce that I have chosen Water.org to receive my $2,000 donation that my company gives for my volunteer hours last year. I wish I could say I was clever enough to have timed it to World Water day but it’s just a happy coincidence. I posted a few weeks ago about my struggle choosing a charity and I did struggle. I couldn’t decide to go global or local, cultural or health issues, small or large charity. In the end I think I found a charity that didn’t make me choose too many things. I wanted to give to a women’s rights, an environmental issue, a group that helps teach people how to read, and Water.org does all of those things. Women are primarily impacted by lack of access to water and are kept out of schools and the workplace because they have to spend hours retrieving water. I also appreciate that this was something where volunteering isn’t as much help, the money is the best way to make an impact. According to the website I’ve helped give 80 people “safe water, providing hope, health and opportunity.”

I’m very grateful that I can celebrate World Water Day and that the company I work for recognizes all my hours of volunteering.

Weekly Check-In

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Traditional Volunteerism

  • 4 Hours of Crisis Text Line
  • I finished a shawl and a baby blanket to donate. I get credit for about 5 hours total but the two items tother probably took me 15-20 hours to knit over a few weeks.

Charitable Giving

  • I had a craving and went to McDonald’s. I threw a handful of change into the Ronald McDonald House bin in the Drive-Thru. Such a great cause.

Personal Kindnesses

  • Again I’m going to point out a personal kindness I received. Yesterday I received two compliments on my appearance. I was told I was glowing and that I was beautiful without makeup. It’s so nice to hear. Just reminds me that when you see something, say something. Compliments should be abundant.

Self Care

  • I had a shin splint and have recently recovered so I’m back to running (which my dog is over the moon about). Back to exercising and getting stronger.
  • I know this is the future and not what I’ve done this week but it’s my birthday this weekend. So I’m planning on taking the whole weekend to only do things I enjoy and forget about all the stress! I’ll report back on how that goes.

Please share in the comments how you’re doing this week!

Voluntourism

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This is my first real foray into Voluntourism (Volunteer tourisum). I’m trying to pull together a trip to Orlando in May to volunteer for the Invictus games. I’ve never volunteered on vacation or made a special trip to volunteer but this event in one of my favorite destinations drew me in. It also seems like I could have a similarly amazing volunteer experience as I did for the 2015 Special Olympic World Games. http://invictusgames2016.org

 

I’m still trying to get the pieces to fall into place. Because I’m from a greater distance and don’t know anyone it’s been hard getting an answer on how to sign up to volunteer and if I even can. There are tickets I can buy to the events so I could just go and enjoy. And it’s all coming up quickly and I need to buy the plane ticket… hotel reservations are already made because I can cancel those. It’s a lot of moving parts.

 

I suppose that’s why people typically join pre-planned tours to volunteer in other places. I’m not the kind of person who likes to be a part of a tour group when I travel whether it’s volunteer or pleasure. And with anything you give your time or money to you want to make sure the money/time is really making a difference. That’s often difficult to decipher.

 

Since this quarter I’m focusing on Self Care I also have to ask myself how it fits in. I love travel and vacations. I think they are an absolute necessity to recharge and bring a joy refresh into my life. So it will be interesting to see what happens when I trade in my time to relax and refresh into something else. Although I do enjoy volunteering it takes energy and effort that is different from a normal vacation. It’s more planned – I’ll have to be somewhere at a certain time. It’s putting myself second to the people I’m helping. And I’m spending a good chunk of money on the trip. I’ll report back as the planning moves forward.

 

What do you think about Voluntourism? Have you ever taken a trip in order to give back? Is it just a new way to profit off of the kindhearted? Is it the perfect way to see the world?

 

http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2014/07/31/336600290/as-volunteerism-explodes-in-popularity-whos-it-helping-most

Weekly Check-In

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It’s been a busy week full of great things that have worn me out.

Traditional Volunteerism

  • 4 Hours of Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

  • Zero

Personal Kindnesses

  • My friends and family had mostly good news to share this week and I made sure that if it was good, bad, or neutral news for me I let them know that I was excited for them. I want my friends to enjoy the happy moments in their life and I’m glad I can support them in good times as much as in bad. It’s important to be kind during the good moments too.

Self Care

  • I was able to rearrange my schedule this week and actually go out two nights in a row. There was a Crisis Text Line Meet-up that was amazing and I got to go to a screening of Zootopia. Both were fun and exciting and have set me up for a nice weekend of self-care napping.

Please share in the comments how you’re doing this week!