Author: beinggoode

I'm a writer working in corporate responsibility in Los Angeles. Trying to figure out how to use my limited resources to make the most impact to the issues that matter to me, how to be the smartest giver possible.

10 Ways to Add Kindness to Every Day

On By beinggoodeIn Personal Kindness2 Comments

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I was thinking about what kinds of things I could do simply and easily on a daily basis to be kinder. I came up with this list. I tried to make sure that this list involved things that don’t require money or preparation. The big theme is that kindness comes from things as simple as acknowledging others, being present, and being positive.

  • Open doors for other people.
    • The simple act of opening a door for the person behind you is an easy way to acknowledge the person.

 

  • Say Thank You.
    • Say Thank You as often as you can.

 

  • Make eye contact
    • Making eye contact while you’re talking to someone or even just passing by lets the person know you see them and acknowledge them.

 

  • Share space.
    • This is especially important when you’re walking in a group, please share the sidewalk. Make room for others. If you’re standing in a circle at a party leave a little space for others to join in. Keep your body language open and inviting.

 

  • Say compliments out loud.
    • I don’t know how many times I’ve looked at someone and thought how nice their hair looks or how much I like his or her outfit… and then just walk away. Say those things out loud. Everyone likes receiving compliments.

 

  • Meditate.
    • Being calm and taking time for you is a great way to create a kind atmosphere.

 

  • Tell a joke.
    • Laughter is the best medicine. Share a joke, do what you can to make someone else smile.

 

  • Put your phone down.
    • We’re all hooked on our technology but whenever you can, put it down. Pay attention to whoever or whatever is in front of you. Key times for this are around the dinner table or while driving.

 

  • Ask someone what he or she needs.
    • People are good at hiding their troubles. Ask them sincerely if you can do anything to help.

 

  • Don’t talk negatively about yourself.
    • Talking negatively about yourself makes everyone feel bad. Saying you look fat in your outfit isn’t kind to you or those around you who have to hear it.

 

What would you add as number 11?

Weekly Check-In

On By beinggoodeIn Four Facets, WeeklyLeave a comment

 

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I certainly am exhausted. Out of print, out of words. My heart goes out to all those who have lost loved ones and all the hurting hearts out there.

Traditional Volunteerism

  • 4 hours Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

  • Some percentage of $1.29 – I purchased the new JLo and Lin-Manuel Miranda Song “Love Makes The World Go Round” and all proceeds from each sale of the track featured on this page will be donated to Hispanic Federation for the Somos Orlando Fund. You can buy it on iTunes here. I really enjoy the song, it’s wonderful on my runs.

Personal Kindnesses

  • There was a work event that was only for full employees. I grabbed a Popsicle for my co-worker in the office who is a contract employee. It was easy enough for me to share some of the fun.

Self Care

  • Okay so I’m currently on an exercise kick! Just 9 weeks until my half marathon and just 25 weeks until marathon weekend. My friends have sucked me in to running another one. I think in 2017 I’m going to try the Goofy Challenge which is a half marathon on Saturday and a full marathon on Sunday. It’s a huge challenge so I’m starting now building strength and endurance so I can keep my record of running injury-free. Also running/strength training is great distraction and therapy right now.

How did you do this week? What are your go-to self care ideas when the news is as bad as it has been lately? Share in the comments!

Saunders on Kindness

On By beinggoodeIn Personal Kindness, ThoughtsLeave a comment

Back in the summer of 2013 I came across a graduation speech by one of my favorite authors. Even though I’d graduated many years ago, I always like listening to my favorite authors. Especially when they’re tasked with talking to people at such an interesting moment in their life; a time of transition and hope and panic. George Saunders has written some of my favorite short stories so when he was tasked with giving the convocation speech at Syracuse University I was ready to listen. That speech has stuck with me ever since.

His message was simple – Be kind. But of course like with all great simple things, it’s not really that simple. Being kind is hard. It’s easier to stay silent. It’s easier to worry about yourself. It’s easier to go along with the group. But if we want to lead lives without regrets, lead thoughtful and wonderful lives, we have to try to be kind whenever possible, as much as possible.

Saunders really says it so well. You can read his full speech by clicking on the quote below or watch the video which is an animated snippet of the speech.

“What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. ….

“But kindness it turns out, is hard.”

~George Saunders

 

 

 

Weekly Check-In

On By beinggoodeIn WeeklyLeave a comment

It’s been a very devastating week. My heart goes out to all those who have lost loved ones and all the hurting hearts out there. #BlackLivesMatter

Traditional Volunteerism

  • 4 hours Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

  • $0 – Update on the donation when I bought the lottery ticket a week or two ago… I won! I won a couple dollars. But I’m still a winner. Lottery karma for the win!

Personal Kindnesses

  • This week I posted a lot of pictures on social media. Pictures of me being thankful, pictures of my crafts, pictures of my dog – happy pictures. It may not be much but hopefully it cuts through a little bit of the sadness and angry out there.

Self Care

  • I’ve been spending most of my time daydreaming about future vacations and planning for future races. I’m thinking of doing another marathon or three.
  • I received a gift this week in the mail. I love getting mail and unexpected gifts are even better.
  • I also spent some time finishing some DIY projects I’d started eons ago.

 

How did you do this week? What are your go-to self care ideas when the news is as bad as it has been lately? Share in the comments!

Being Kind

On By beinggoodeIn Four Facets, Personal KindnessLeave a comment

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We’re already halfway through the year and it feels like it’s flying. I suppose it always does. This next quarter I’m planning on focusing on Personal Kindness. When I created the four facets I thought that this one would be one of the simpler ones. Just be nice to people; seems pretty straight forward and I think I’m a pretty nice person. But having to think every week about what I’ve done to choose to be kind has proved tricky. What it has done is help me recognize how important it is when someone expresses kindness to me.

 

Succeeding or not, attempting to be kind and being aware of it is a great step in the right direction.

 

I’m excited to dive into this topic this quarter. Do you have any personal kindness or random act of kindness questions or tips?

How to find Volunteer Opportunities

On By beinggoodeIn volunteerLeave a comment

 

It’s time to wrap up the Volunteering focused quarter. This one seemed to fly by. It looks like I’m at around 145 hours so far this year, which puts me ahead of last year. Volunteering is my primary method of Being Goode. For me it’s both the easiest and most rewarding. I’ve never donated a lot of money but I always have time to give.

 

People always ask me how I found my volunteer gigs. I think one way is that I always have my eyes and ears open to possibilities. I volunteer for Crisis Text Line because of an article I found in a magazine. I came across the Invictus games because of a news article about Prince Harry. I started volunteering at 826LA/Seattle because I love the author Dave Eggers and it’s an organization he started. I volunteered at the Cincinnati Ballet because I took ballet classes growing up. A friend helped me get into volunteering at the Special Olympic World Games. I see things and wonder if I can help, and then I follow-up.

 

Here are some other ways to find volunteer opportunities –

  • Talk to Friends
    • Do your friends volunteer already? Ask if you can join them. If they aren’t already volunteering ask what they’re passionate about. There could be something you could do together instead of your normal activities.

 

  • Check with Your Employer
    • The company I work for offers lots of opportunities to volunteer. Fellow employees post volunteer opportunities on a monthly calendar that you can search. At other places I’ve worked they’ve posted things on the bulletin board.

 

  • Search for Organizations You Love
    • Is literacy something you care deeply about? Does homelessness in your area break your heart? Do you love the arts? Start from your passion and search the Internet. You’ll likely find a few organizations in your area and their websites will have links to volunteer applications.

 

  • Search by a Skill You Want to Share
    • Are you athletic or have coaching skills? Would you like to share some of your professional skills? Do you enjoy cooking? Can you knit or sew? You can often find a volunteer opportunity by your skills.  Girls on the Run and the Special Olympics both need coaches/runners. Many non-profits need people to help with accounting/data entry/marketing skills. Some shelters offer classes in basic life skills like cooking that you could teach or assist with. You could knit or sew things for preemies or other people in the hospital.

 

Whether it’s an hour or hundreds I think you’ll find it very rewarding. It’s also something you can put on a resume and a great way to meet new people. Often you’ll find that volunteer can be a once in a lifetime experience.

How do you find volunteer experiences?

 

Weekly Check-In

On By beinggoodeIn WeeklyLeave a comment

It seems like time is just flying by. I’m taking a big test tomorrow to get a professional certification and all my spare time has been going to study for it.

Traditional Volunteerism

  • 4 hours Crisis Text Line – It’s been 1 year since I got accepted as a counselor and began this crazy amazing journey.

Charitable Giving

  • $1 – Children’s Hospital – I buy lottery tickets every week – because I love to daydream about what I’d do and as much as I love being a broke philanthropist… wouldn’t it be fun to be a rich philanthropist! I went in to the local gas station to buy my $4 worth of tickets. The clerk asked if I was sure I didn’t want to put the whole $5 bill to the lottery, when I hesitated he suggested I donate it to Children’s Hospital. Now that to me sounded perfect. It’s a dollar that I won’t notice but will help and the good deed can only help increase the chances of a lottery win!

Personal Kindnesses

  • A co-worker of mine asked me for some career/life advice and I think was a helpful confidant. It sounds like she has some excitement in her near future and I hope I was able to push some worries aside so she can see and enjoy that.

Self Care

  • I choose my next knitting project that will be a gift. I have months to finish it but it’s something fun and exciting to focus on. Although there’s been a crazy heatwave so knitting might not be the best project right this second.
  • Exercise is a go-to self care strategy for me. I went to YouTube and chose a lower body pilates workout. Before the video got started the instructor was talking about being body positive and she said “Don’t worry if your thighs touch, you’re that much closer to being a mermaid!”. Haha it was so fun! I’m a mermaid! Work out because you love your body not because you hate it.

How did you do this week? Share in the comments!

#OrlandoUnited

On By beinggoodeIn ThoughtsLeave a comment

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I was in the Laugh Factory here in LA when I found out. The group I was with was making We are Orlando signs and I thought it was strange because I thought it was about the singer who was just shot the other night in Orlando, I hadn’t yet heard. I had been busy putting rainbow eyeshadow on my eyes, securing my tiara, and going over the dance routines for the parade to turn on the news that morning. But I quickly learned that the signs were not strange at all. Our community had been attacked. I was devastated.

 

But the PRIDE parade preparations continued and we went to the queue area. Then I started to get texts from friends and family asking if I was safe. That’s how I found out that LA PRIDE had been targeted. That they caught someone with a car full of explosives and ammunition headed our way. I thought about going home. I imagined Boston. But then I saw the increased LAPD presence, I got assurance and encouragement from my group’s security team, and I was reminded that the point of PRIDE isn’t just a celebration but a chance to stand together. This was my second time in the LA PRIDE parade and I was ready for the protesters with their little area along the route with their signs and bullhorns chanting we’re all going to hell. I was ready for hate. I know that we’ve come a long way; marriage equality is the law of the land but I know we have a long way to go; conversation therapy is still legal in most states.

 

I danced my way through West Hollywood again living my dream of being a professional parade dancer. It was a mile of fun and joy and rainbows and connection. Like I’ve said here before after the Paris attacks– art heals. Music and dancing heals. After the parade I went and got Hawaiian BBQ (rainbows aren’t just for LGBTQA) and settled in to watch the Tony’s. I watch the Tony’s every year because I love theatre. I felt it and I saw so many of my friend’s and the world’s reaction to the Tony’s – it was healing. Art heals. There were beautiful acceptance sonnets and songs that had nothing to do with the day’s tragedy. They all helped.

 

Over the past couple of days I’ve watched the late show anchors and the newscasters react and share and try to find away to talk about this again. Many pointed to the blood drives and the people who lined up around the block to donate. Giving back is a way to heal. Few pointed out that male homosexuals aren’t able to donate. Few pointed out that the people who donated blood last week in Orlando, on just a normal day as something they do, were lifesavers. I hear the stories on the news of the survivors and I’m devastated.

 

This week I’m wearing a rainbow lapel pin. It feels to me to match the flags flying at half-staff; a gesture of respect. The fight and the celebration continue.

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Weekly Check-In

On By beinggoodeIn Weekly2 Comments

It’s almost mid-June… I can’t believe it’s summer and the year is getting close to halfway over!

Traditional Volunteerism

  • 4 hours Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

  • $0

Personal Kindnesses

  • I really have to say the Beatles got it right – I get by with a little help from my friends (well the first part of that song). I’m not sure what I did to be kind this week but I am sure that my friends are always demonstrating kindness to me.

Self Care

  • I started a two week daily yoga challenge. Starting your day (or squeezing a few minutes in anywhere) makes such a difference. I took some time in my practice to set an intention for each day. Having something to focus on and ground you throughout the day makes such a difference. I should do yoga everyday all year long but 2 weeks is a good start.

How did you do this week? Share in the comments!

Why Volunteer?

On By beinggoodeIn Thoughts, volunteerLeave a comment

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Someone asked me the other day why I volunteer. They made some other assumptions but I’ll tell you the real story (as well as I can).

I’m also a writer and there is always talk about why you’re are a writer, who really is a writer, and what reasons are valid. The standardly accepted response is; Writers write because they have to. For me it’s not that simple. I could say I write because I have to, because I’m compelled to but I write to put my head in order, and I write to remember, and I write to communicate, and I write to understand things (like Didion). But mostly I write because I love reading and someday I hope to write something that will effect someone else the way that my favorite books have effected me.

I don’t have the same clarity as to why I volunteer. It’s partially because I always have. I started volunteering with my family when I was around 8 years old. Some if it is because I get to participate in pretty cool events, I used to usher to see plays or the ballet. Occasionally I’ll be invited by a friend. It does look good on my resume and that’s a real benefit. The first answer that always comes to mind is why wouldn’t I volunteer?

I think really though it’s how I feel when I happen to be in the right place, offering the right help, at the right time. When I feel like I actually might be changing the world.

Why do you volunteer? Are we all just crazy?