Who We Are in Crisis

The floods in Texas and India are devastating to watch unfold on the news. If you’re reading this blog, the first thing you’re probably thinking is how can I help? There are telethons and text short codes and articles about how you shouldn’t donate to this charity or that one, you want to help the pets or the elderly or the people with families or who are in some way just like you. Maybe you’ve been through a natural disaster and want them to know you know what it’s like. But where to start and how to be truly helpful are hard things to understand with these images flashing across your screen.

I believe that disasters and crises just intensify who we already are. The outer layer we hide behind drops away and the best or worst of us just shows up. There is one person who has become a viral star from the Texas floods – Mattress Matt. This gentleman is a furniture store owner with a large showroom and a caring heart. He opened his store, with all its display furniture to shelter his fellow Houstonians. He heard it was someone’s birthday so he gifted her a mattress right there on the spot. He said the money would work itself out in the long run. You could tell he wasn’t making any grand effort, wasn’t calculating how this would make him look, he was just being Mattress Matt, a guy who cared about people and had the ability to show it during this crisis.

So be yourself. Be kind, and caring, show the world what you can do. Crises are an opportunity to show up and be genuine. Use it.

But even kind and caring people can learn to do better with practice. That’s what being kind without a crisis in our everyday life does, it makes it easier when disaster comes along for us to just show up to. It’s like when your parents told you to brush your teeth every day when you were small. Eventually, no one had to tell you to brush your teeth in the morning, it’s just something you do. Make kindness like brushing your teeth.

And importantly, ask questions to avoid the disaster after the disaster. Research which charities are best for you to give to if you can give money. If you have things to donate, try to ask what people need before sending things. I have the opportunity to talk to crisis counselors who have been affected by the Texas flooding and ask them what they need before I send a big package of stuff that may or may not help. I can tailor a gift package to what that person actually needs and will use. A handknit scarf or a hand me down sweater may be given with heart but if it’s not what they need then it doesn’t really do as much as we’d hope. We can still be smart and thoughtful in a time of crisis. It’s worth taking a minute to ask or research how we can be most effective.

And we don’t have to hurry! We can be helpful next month or next year. Plan vacations to the area in the next few years to get money into the community, look at buying things from local businesses that were affected, donate to causes that will be helping with long term reconstruction, even look into environmental organizations that are working to reduce the impact of climate change or even look into local infrastructure issues in your area and vote accordingly. If you didn’t have the money to participate in the telethon or the internet challenges or to match your favorite celebrities’ campaign, know that you still have time to show up. There is always time to care.

So take a breath, always practice kindness, and just show up for each other.

 

What have you done to help in a disaster that you can share with us? I’d love to hear some success stories!

 

Weekly Update

Still stuck in retrograde. This was a week that I had to focus on self care and I’m really proud of myself for doing just that. Sometimes you have to put it first, other times you can prioritize taking over the world. 🙂

Volunteering

  • 2 hours – Crisis Text Line – I got a headache mid-shift and had to bow out. I hope to make up the hours over the holiday weekend.

Charitable Giving

  • $0
  • 1 baby hat

Personal Kindness

  • I got a lot of support this week. My personal kindness was letting everyone know just how much I appreciated that support. Many heartfelt thank yous were given this week.

Self Care

  • Cleaning. I want to have a clean home and am hoping to transition to a new phase in my life so I’m looking into and thinking about minimalism. I don’t know how many items I’ll end up with but I’m sure it’s not going to be 100 or 33 or whatever some people do. But I’m working on making sure my wardrobe just has things that make me happy.
  • Knitting and crocheting like a crazy person. I still have some works in progress and my knitting circle is working on making purple baby hats for Oklahoma (more info here) So I’ve been doing that. And I keep saying that my next project is going to be something for myself but I’m getting pretty easily distracted by making things for donation. Either way, it brings me joy.
  • It’s time to start daydreaming about trips. I have a trip planned for the end of this month and a long weekend in October for another Crisis Text Line Palooza. If you have any tips for traveling in Paris or Atlanta, please leave them below. I have about a day and a half in Atlanta to explore by myself. Paris will be another run so I’ll be pretty busy but I always like to hear new suggestions for off the beaten path things.
  • Running – or trying to. It’s been crazy hot lately so I’ve had to take my workouts indoors and since I don’t have a treadmill there’s been a lot of jumping jacks in my living room. But the heat is reminding me, forcing me really, to slow down and enjoy. Thanks for that reminder universe.

How’d you do this week?

Weekly Update

What did you think of the eclipse? Natural events like that can affect us all in different ways. I tried to focus on the positives, getting to share time with co-workers, being thankful a coworker was willing to share their glasses with me, and then making a fun crochet eclipse pattern as a thank you. It was a nice excuse to connect.

I’ve also tried to think of it as a bit of a cosmic reset. Wiping something clean to get ready for a new start.

Volunteering

  • 4 hours – Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

  • $0

Personal Kindness

  • I saw a cute crochet pattern and it was quick to make. I went home and spent an hour making it and gave it to my coworker. I love making things to give away. I get the joy of making and hopefully, the recipients get the joy of the gift

Self Care

  • I had a busy week of networking and team building and spending time with friends so my self care this weekend is going to be being alone with my dog. I’m an introvert, which means I need to recharge my batteries by spending time alone. So this weekend that’s the plan.
  • Podcasts. There are a few I love – Dear Sugar and The Minimalists have been at the top of my list lately. It’s so nice to put one on and tackle some cleaning or take the dog on a walk.

How’d you do this week?

Weekly Update

Sorry I’ve been M.I.A lately. I have been focusing on getting a new job and the self care that goes along with the uncertainty and stress of big life changes. Also my dog has been crazy with the heat waves. haha. Sometimes you just need to take a break.

But I’m still here volunteering, and being kind, and looking for great new organizations to donate to when I get my finances back in order.

Volunteering

  • 4 hours – Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

  • $10 Represent.Us through Omaze (trying to win an experience with JLaw)
  • 1 Welcome Blanket

Personal Kindness

  • This is kind of self care as well but I’ve downloaded a Gratitude Journal app on my phone. As I’m getting ready in the morning I write down three things that I’m grateful for. I think that this morning focus on things I’m thankful for put me in the right frame of mind to treat people and things I come across with kindness. Just like anything, practice makes perfect.

Self Care

  • Knitting. Still knitting like a crazy old lady. It’s so calming and allows me to have control over something, complete something, and do something good for someone else – quite the trifecta.
  • Cleaning. I’ve been doing a lot of spring/deep cleaning in my house. I’m taking a friends advice to do things now to get ready for the next step. I won’t want to be taking on these cleaning projects when I’m starting an awesome new job. So I’ll take action now and be more prepared for the good things to come. I’ve also been listening to the Minimalists podcast while I’m cleaning and think they have a very interesting perspective that I’d like to work towards.

How’d you do this week?

5 Ways to Be Good When Life Isn’t

I’ve been having a rough time lately. I know we’ve all been there. My dog got skunked and I’m trying to get a job and pay bills and family drama and then a nail in my tire. Sometimes it’s just one thing after another and the stress is overwhelming. You’re moving or having a baby or changing jobs or having trouble with family or financial stresses – we all face those metaphorical rainy days. So this post is as much for me as it is for you. Here are some things I’m trying to keep in mind while I navigate the rainy weather.

1. Don’t Stress About Being Stressed

You wouldn’t stress out about having a fever would you?!? Well I would but then I’d realize that that added stress wasn’t doing a thing to help my fever and I’d take some medicine and get some rest. Stressing out about being stressed is natural but it isn’t helping the problem. Focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that relieve your stress. This can be different for everyone but some good things to try are walking in nature, visiting with friends, meditating or yoga.

 

2. Empathy & Kindness are Muscles

The more you use them the stronger they get. So even if you are only being empathetic and kind to yourself, you’re growing those muscles so that when you’re in a better place you’ll be better at helping others. You aren’t wasting time being nice to yourself. We’ve all heard the cliche – you can’t pour from an empty cup – well it’s true. Fill up your cup so the empathy and kindness overflows.
3. Appreciate Receiving Kindnesses

You may not be able to show as many of those random acts of kindness when you’re down and out but believe me you will receive them. So notice them, appreciate them, be loudly thankful for them. Reach out to friends and family. They know you’ll be there for them when they need it, let them be there for you now.

 

4. A Break is NOT Failure

Stepping away from volunteering or donating or anything else you do to be a good person doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re taking a rest. It means you need a break. It doesn’t mean that you’re being bad or mean or anything else. It just means that you need to recover to come back stronger. If you need to set a date to get back to it, do that. Officially take time off of thinking and stressing about it.

 

5. It isn’t Always Going to Feel Like This

Metaphorical rainy days clear away for metaphorical rainbows and sunny days. This is just temporary stress and you’ll get through it. Give yourself some time and don’t let yourself slip into the doom and gloom that now your life is ruined. At first that skunk smell will make you feel like your nose wants to give up and nothing will ever smell good again. But days and weeks will pass and things will return to normal. You’ll burn candles and clean and breezes will sweep away the old smells and bring you new ones. It may take longer than you want but just remember it isn’t a permanent state. You’re a good person, things will work out.

 

What are your tips for dealing with those metaphorical rainy days?

Weekly Check-In

Honestly I’m struggling a bit lately.

I think we all feel this way sometimes, like we’re just trying to keep it together. Like we have octopus arms reaching to keep all the plates spinning and everything from crashing down.

I’m behind on the Purple State Challenge not because of lack of organizations but because I’m struggling financially. I will hopefully turn this around shortly and be able to get to 52 organizations by the end of the year. I’m determined to turn the map purple!

Volunteering

  • 4 hours – Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

Personal Kindness

  • I was so touched that when the parents and loved ones of the Pulse victims were asked how to honor them they came up with ways to be kind. And many of the ways to be kind were easy everyday things. I decided this week to focus a little more on holding doors open for people and looking people in the eye when I thank them for holding the door open for me. It’s such a simple gesture but still can be filled with love.49Kindness

Self Care

  • Knitting. Still trying to calm my nerves with making things. I finished a cowl for myself this week and started on some more knitted knockers.
  • My friend is moving away at the end of the summer. So we’re spending this summer trying to complete a summer bucket list of all the local things that locals tend not to do (i.e. New Yorkers never go to the Statue of Liberty). So we went to a local wine tasting event and watched the sunset. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time.

How’d you do this week?

Purple State Challenge – Florida

#PurpleStateChallenge

 

PurpleState9

Zebra Coalition

zebra

Mission: 

“The mission of Zebra Coalition® is to foster hope, dignity and self-respect in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and all youth (LGBT+), and to provide them an opportunity to grow up in a safe, healthy and supportive environment.”

Why I choose this group:

June is Pride Month. I’ve been celebrating by covering everything with rainbows – my Facebook feed, my food, my eye shadow – rainbow everything. I am part of the LGBTQA community year round but in June it’s time to celebrate and shout it from the rooftop. The last two years I was able to participate in my local Pride Parade.

This year Pride seems to be more somber. It was only a year ago that I woke up to go to the Pride Parade and heard the news about the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando. 49 people went out with friends to enjoy their night, celebrate, and shout out loud and didn’t come home. It’s terrifying to have a safe space invaded in that way, an LGBTQA club on Latin night. It makes my heart hurt and Monday marked the one year anniversary. It has been amazing to see how Orlando and the world came together to stand with the community. Below is a wonderful list that asked the parents of the those lost how to mark the occasion and they answered with ways to show kindness and love.

49Kindness

So for this month and week I knew that I wanted to find a great LGBTQA organization in Florida and that’s what I found in the Zebra Coalition. It’s a great organization that helps youth in Orlando who are in need find support, resources, and housing. They have all sorts of programs from mental health services, to bullying prevention, to mentoring and education resources, to simply providing a safe space for youth to walk into and find a place where they’re accepted. It’s so so important to build a strong community where people are connected and feel safe and Zebra Coalition is doing that in Orlando.

Check them out:

You can donate here –

Website |Zebra Coalition

Facebook |@zebracoalition Twitter | @zebracoaliton

 

Weekly Check-In

 

I had family visiting from out of town and with some job things it felt like this week was a whirlwind. I’ve also managed to get a little bit of a summer cold. Time for some good quality rest.

Volunteering

  • 4 hours – Crisis Text Line

Charitable Giving

  • $0

Personal Kindness

  • I got to spend some special time with my niece. I think one of the most important things you can do is talk to kids. Ask them questions, tell them stories, just chat. It’s amazing how much they appreciate it.

Self Care

  • Family time! We got to eat some great food and just hang out. It was wonderful.
  • After my family left it means nap time for me. Just sleeping and sitting on the couch has been lovely.

How’d you do this week?

Weekly Check-In

It’s Memorial Day. Thinking of those who lost their lives to make mine free.

 

It’s been a stressful time worrying about getting a new job and working through this transition. So I’ve been putting more of a focus on self-care and hoping for the best.

Volunteering

  • 2 hours – Crisis Text Line – I needed some self care so I cut back on hours

Charitable Giving

  • $25 – Up With Trees
  • 2 Shawls & a baby blanket

Personal Kindness

  • While looking for a job for myself I saw one that reminded me of a co-worker. I sent it over and he said no one had ever done something like that for him before and he got excited. It’s nice to see how appreciative he was. I also hope it helps with the job search karma.

Self Care

  • I’ve still been knitting up a storm. It’s so calming.
  • I’ve been trying to spring clean my apartment. It always feels better to be in a clean nice home.

How’d you do this week?

Purple State Challenge – Oklahoma

PurpleState8

#PurpleStateChallenge

Up With Trees

upwithtrees

Mission: 

“To beautify greater Tulsa by planting trees and to create urban forestry awareness through education.”

Why I choose this group:

 

Sometimes we think that planting a tree is frivolous, that it doesn’t really have a huge impact when we turn on the news and see so many upsetting things. But Up With Trees knows better. Planting trees grows communities. It helps with physical and mental health. It helps people and nature. And there are dozens of studies to prove it. Spending time in nature – even just a walk down a tree lined street – can dramatically improve your well being. It isn’t frivolous, it’s vital.

I like that Up With Trees focuses on urban areas and education. You can see the passion and joy in the people of this organization. I also wanted to choose a nature related organization for Oklahoma because of it’s natural beauty that has been lost to industry and development. The environment is vital to progress and society, it’s not something we can ignore for short term gains.

Check them out:

You can donate here –

Website |Up With Trees

Facebook |@up.with.trees Twitter | @upwithtrees

 

Watch this great video: